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Tobias:
Ladies and gentlemen,
May I have your attention, perlease?
Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well
At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell?
Yes they are, I can tell.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source,
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course.
Ladies and gentlemen,
You can’t imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you’ll sample
Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies,
Savory and sweet pies,
As you’ll see.
You who eat pies,
Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies
Used to be!
Mrs. Lovett:
Nice to see you, dearie.
How have you been keeping?
Cor, me bones is weary!
Toby!
One for the gentleman.
Hear the birdies cheeping—
Helps to keep it cheery.
Toby!
Throw the old woman out!
Company:
God, that’s good!
Mrs. Lovett:
What’s your pleasure, dearie?
No, we don’t cut slices.
Cor, me eyes is bleary!
Toby!
None for the gentleman!
I could up me prices—
I’m a little leery.
Business
Couldn’t be better, though.
Company:
God, that’s good!
Mrs. Lovett:
Knock on wood.
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
Excuse me...
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
Dear, see to the customers.
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk.
Todd:
But it’s six o’clock!
Mrs. Lovett:
So it’s six o’clock...
Todd:
It was due to arrive
At a quarter to five— Mrs. Lovett:
And it’s six o’clock! And it’s probably already
Down the block!
I’ve been waiting all day! It’ll be here, it’ll be here!
Have a beaker of beer
But it should have been here And stop worrying, dear.
By now! Now, now.
Company:
More hot pies!
Mrs. Lovett: Todd:
Will you wait there, You’ll come back
Coolly, When it comes?
’Cos my customers truly
Are getting unruly.
And what’s your pleasure, dearie?
Oops! I beg your padon!
Just me hands is smeary.
Toby!
Run for the gentle man!
Don’t you love a garden?
Always makes me teary.
Must be one of them foreigners...
Company:
God, that’s good, that is delicious!
Mrs. Lovett:
What’s my secret?
Frankly, dear—forgive my candor—
Family secret,
All to do with herbs.
Things like being
Careful with your coriander,
That’s what makes the gravy grander!
Company:
More hot pies!
More hot!
More pies!
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
Excuse me...
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
Dear, see to the customers.
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
What now, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk.
Todd:
But it’s here!
Mrs. Lovett:
It’s where?
Todd:
Coming up the stair!
Mrs. Lovett:
I’ll get rid of this lot
As they’re still pretty hot Todd:
And then I’ll be there! It’s about to be opened
Or don’t you care?
No, I’ll be there!
I will be there! But we have to prepare!
But they’ll never get sold
If I let ’em get cold.
Oh, and
Incidentally, dearie,
You know Mrs. Mooney,
Sales’ve been so dreary
—Toby!—
Poor thing is penniless.
What about that loony?
Lookin’ sort of beery.
Oh well, got her comeuppance.
And that’ll be thruppence, and
Compay: Mrs. Lovett:
God that’s good that is de have you So she should.
Licious ever tasted smell such
Oh my God what more that’s pies good!
Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh!
Todd:
Is this a chair fir for a king, Mrs. Lovett:
A wondrous neat It’s gorgeous!
And most particular chair? It’s gorgeous!
You tell me where
Is there a seat
Can half compare It’s perfect!
With this particular thing! It’s gorgeous!
I have a few
Minor adjustments You make a few
To make. Minor adjustments.
They’ll take
A moment. You take your time,
I’ll call you. I’ll go see to the customers.
I have another friend...
Tobias:
Is that a pie fit for a king, Mrs. Lovett:
A wondrous sweet It’s gorgeous!
And most particular thing? It’s gorgeous!
You see, ma’am, why
There is no meat
Pie can compete It’s perfect!
With this delectable It’s gorgeous!
Pie.
Tobias & Mrs. Lovett:
The crust all velvety and wavy,
That glaze, those crimps,
And then, the thick, Todd:
Succulent gravy And down they go.
One whiff, one glimpse. The cellar waits below.
Mrs. Lovett:
So rich, Tobias: Todd:
So thick So tender On with
It makes you sick. That you surrender. The show...
Psst!
Excuse me...
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
Dear, see to the customers.
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Mrs. Lovett:
All set, love?
Todd:
Hear me—
Mrs. Lovett:
Me heart’s aflutter!
Todd:
When I pound the floor, Mrs. Lovett:
It’s a signal to show When you pound the floor,
That they’re ready to go, Yes, you told me. I know,
When I pound the floor! You’ll be ready to go
When you pound the floor
Will you trust me?
I just want to be sure. Will you trust me?
I’ll be waiting below
When I’m certain that you’re For the whistle to blow.
In place—
I’ll pound three times.
Three times.
To warn you—
Three times—
That means—
Company:
Exactly.
More hot pies!
Mrs. Lovett:
Gawd!
Company:
More hot!
Mrs. Lovett:
Right!
Company:
More pies!
Todd: [Spoken]
Psst!
Company:
More!
Mrs. Lovett:
Wait! Tobias:
How about it, dearie? Is that a pie
Be here in a twinkling! Fit for a king,
Just confirms my theory. A wondrous sweet
Toby! And most delectable
God watches over us. Thing?
Didn’t have an inkling. You see, ma’am, why
Positively eerie. There is no meat pie...
Toby!
Throw the old woman out!
Company:
God that’s good that is de have you
Licious ever tasted smell such
Oh my god what perfect more that’s
Pies such flavor!
God that’s good!
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God that’s good!
Pies such flavor!
Oh my god what perfect more that’s
Licious ever tasted smell such
God that’s good that is de have you
Company:
Throw the old woman out!
Toby!
Positively eerie. There is no meat pie...
Didn’t have an inkling. You see, ma’am, why
God watches over us. Thing?
Toby! And most delectable
Just confirms my theory. A wondrous sweet
Be here in a twinkling! Fit for a king,
How about it, dearie? Is that a pie
Wait! Tobias:
Mrs. Lovett:
More!
Company:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
More pies!
Company:
Right!
Mrs. Lovett:
More hot!
Company:
Gawd!
Mrs. Lovett:
More hot pies!
Exactly.
Company:
That means—
Three times—
To warn you—
Three times.
I’ll pound three times.
In place—
When I’m certain that you’re For the whistle to blow.
I’ll be waiting below
I just want to be sure. Will you trust me?
Will you trust me?
When you pound the floor
When I pound the floor! You’ll be ready to go
That they’re ready to go, Yes, you told me. I know,
It’s a signal to show When you pound the floor,
When I pound the floor, Mrs. Lovett:
Todd:
Me heart’s aflutter!
Mrs. Lovett:
Hear me—
Todd:
All set, love?
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Dear, see to the customers.
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Excuse me...
Psst!
It makes you sick. That you surrender. The show...
So thick So tender On with
So rich, Tobias: Todd:
Mrs. Lovett:
One whiff, one glimpse. The cellar waits below.
Succulent gravy And down they go.
And then, the thick, Todd:
That glaze, those crimps,
The crust all velvety and wavy,
Tobias & Mrs. Lovett:
Pie.
With this delectable It’s gorgeous!
Pie can compete It’s perfect!
There is no meat
You see, ma’am, why
And most particular thing? It’s gorgeous!
A wondrous sweet It’s gorgeous!
Is that a pie fit for a king, Mrs. Lovett:
Tobias:
I have another friend...
I’ll call you. I’ll go see to the customers.
A moment. You take your time,
They’ll take
To make. Minor adjustments.
Minor adjustments You make a few
I have a few
With this particular thing! It’s gorgeous!
Can half compare It’s perfect!
Is there a seat
You tell me where
And most particular chair? It’s gorgeous!
A wondrous neat It’s gorgeous!
Is this a chair fir for a king, Mrs. Lovett:
Todd:
Ooh ooh ooh!
Ooh ooh ooh!
Oh my God what more that’s pies good!
Licious ever tasted smell such
God that’s good that is de have you So she should.
Compay: Mrs. Lovett:
And that’ll be thruppence, and
Oh well, got her comeuppance.
Lookin’ sort of beery.
What about that loony?
Poor thing is penniless.
—Toby!—
Sales’ve been so dreary
You know Mrs. Mooney,
Incidentally, dearie,
Oh, and
If I let ’em get cold.
But they’ll never get sold
I will be there! But we have to prepare!
No, I’ll be there!
Or don’t you care?
And then I’ll be there! It’s about to be opened
As they’re still pretty hot Todd:
I’ll get rid of this lot
Mrs. Lovett:
Coming up the stair!
Todd:
It’s where?
Mrs. Lovett:
But it’s here!
Todd:
Quick, though, the trade is brisk.
What now, love?
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Dear, see to the customers.
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Excuse me...
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
More pies!
More hot!
More hot pies!
Company:
That’s what makes the gravy grander!
Careful with your coriander,
Things like being
All to do with herbs.
Family secret,
Frankly, dear—forgive my candor—
What’s my secret?
Mrs. Lovett:
God, that’s good, that is delicious!
Company:
Must be one of them foreigners...
Always makes me teary.
Don’t you love a garden?
Run for the gentle man!
Toby!
Just me hands is smeary.
Oops! I beg your padon!
And what’s your pleasure, dearie?
Are getting unruly.
’Cos my customers truly
Coolly, When it comes?
Will you wait there, You’ll come back
Mrs. Lovett: Todd:
More hot pies!
Company:
By now! Now, now.
But it should have been here And stop worrying, dear.
Have a beaker of beer
I’ve been waiting all day! It’ll be here, it’ll be here!
Down the block!
And it’s six o’clock! And it’s probably already
At a quarter to five— Mrs. Lovett:
It was due to arrive
Todd:
So it’s six o’clock...
Mrs. Lovett:
But it’s six o’clock!
Todd:
Quick, though, the trade is brisk.
Yes, what, love?
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Dear, see to the customers.
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Excuse me...
Mrs. Lovett:
Psst!
Todd: [Spoken]
Knock on wood.
Mrs. Lovett:
God, that’s good!
Company:
Couldn’t be better, though.
Business
I’m a little leery.
I could up me prices—
None for the gentleman!
Toby!
Cor, me eyes is bleary!
No, we don’t cut slices.
What’s your pleasure, dearie?
Mrs. Lovett:
God, that’s good!
Company:
Throw the old woman out!
Toby!
Helps to keep it cheery.
Hear the birdies cheeping—
One for the gentleman.
Toby!
Cor, me bones is weary!
How have you been keeping?
Nice to see you, dearie.
Mrs. Lovett:
Used to be!
Conjure up the treat pies
Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies
You who eat pies,
As you’ll see.
Savory and sweet pies,
Mrs. Lovett’s meat pies,
There you’ll sample
Just inside of this door!
You can’t imagine the rapture in store
Ladies and gentlemen,
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course.
Is like nothing compared to its succulent source,
That aroma enriching the breeze
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Yes they are, I can tell.
At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell?
Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well
May I have your attention, perlease?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Tobias:
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