Of Montreal
Advice From A Divorced Gentleman To His Bachelor F

You should stay away from roses
And be careful to avoid
chocolate hearts
Keep distant from romantic notions
Cause that's where love
most often starts

Be sure to steer clear of diamonds
And mink coats are most certainly out too
For if she goes in for that kind of thing
Just might fall then what you will do

You know you've always been the sort
Who's truly only fond of the sport
And who will never be satisfied
Reclining in slippers by the fireside
With a wife's constant nagging
for things that you can't provide
Who no longer bears resemblance
to that soft spoken flower
You were so desperate to have for your bride

Too much conversing with a woman
tends to dull a man's wit

Never be taken in by poets
Who claim that love if it's pure will never fade
Though love may last all right in a bibliotheque
In the real world man its too easily unmade

So don't take your freedom for granted
Don't let curiosity take you for a ride
As years drag on when you wake up next to her
You'll wish that in your sleep you had died
You'll wish you had died


Mirror lyrics:

You'll wish you had died
You'll wish that in your sleep you had died
As years drag on when you wake up next to her
Don't let curiosity take you for a ride
So don't take your freedom for granted

In the real world man its too easily unmade
Though love may last all right in a bibliotheque
Who claim that love if it's pure will never fade
Never be taken in by poets

tends to dull a man's wit
Too much conversing with a woman

You were so desperate to have for your bride
to that soft spoken flower
Who no longer bears resemblance
for things that you can't provide
With a wife's constant nagging
Reclining in slippers by the fireside
And who will never be satisfied
Who's truly only fond of the sport
You know you've always been the sort

Just might fall then what you will do
For if she goes in for that kind of thing
And mink coats are most certainly out too
Be sure to steer clear of diamonds

most often starts
Cause that's where love
Keep distant from romantic notions
chocolate hearts
And be careful to avoid
You should stay away from roses


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zAdvice cFrom zA xDivorced hGentleman fTo jHis vBachelor cF Azdvice Fcrom Az Dxivorced Ghentleman Tfo Hjis Bvachelor Fc
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