Tom Lehrer - It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier

Tom Lehrer

It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier

The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride,
For the nation's youth, the cream of which is marching at his side.
For the fascinating rules and regulations that we share,
And the quaint and curious costumes that we're called upon to wear.

Now Al joined up to do his part defending you and me.
He wants to fight and bleed and kill and die for liberty.
With the hell of war he's come to grips,
Policing up the filter tips,
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

When Pete was only in the seventh grade, he stabbed a cop.
He's real R.A. material, and he was glad to swap
His switchblade and his old zip gun
For a bayonet and a new M-1.
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

After Johnny got through basic training, he
Was a soldier through and through when he was done.
Its effects were so well rooted,
That the next day he saluted
A Good Humor man, an usher, and a nun.

Now, Fred's an intellectual, brings a book to every meal.
He likes the deep philosophers, like Norman Vincent Peale.
He thinks the army's just the thing,
Because he finds it broadening.
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

Now, Ed flunked out of second grade, and never finished school.
He doesn't know a shelter half from an entrenching tool.
But, he's going to be a big success,
He heads his class at OCS.
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the war.
But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps.
To think of all the marvelous ways
They're using plastics nowadays.
It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!

Our lieutenant is the up-and-coming type,
Played with soldiers as a boy, you just can bet.
It is written in the stars
He will get his captain's bars,
But he hasn't got enough box tops yet.

Our captain has a handicap to cope with, sad to tell.
He's from Georgia, and he doesn't speak the language very well.
He used to be, so rumor has,
The Dean of Men...at Alcatraz.
It makes a fellow proud to be,
What as a kid I vowed to be,
What luck to be allowed to be a soldier. (At ease!)

Mirror lyrics:

What luck to be allowed to be a soldier. (At ease!)
What as a kid I vowed to be,
It makes a fellow proud to be,
The Dean of Men...at Alcatraz.
He used to be, so rumor has,
He's from Georgia, and he doesn't speak the language very well.
Our captain has a handicap to cope with, sad to tell.

But he hasn't got enough box tops yet.
He will get his captain's bars,
It is written in the stars
Played with soldiers as a boy, you just can bet.
Our lieutenant is the up-and-coming type,

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
They're using plastics nowadays.
To think of all the marvelous ways
But his savory collations add to our esprit de corps.
Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the war.

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
He heads his class at OCS.
But, he's going to be a big success,
He doesn't know a shelter half from an entrenching tool.
Now, Ed flunked out of second grade, and never finished school.

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
Because he finds it broadening.
He thinks the army's just the thing,
He likes the deep philosophers, like Norman Vincent Peale.
Now, Fred's an intellectual, brings a book to every meal.

A Good Humor man, an usher, and a nun.
That the next day he saluted
Its effects were so well rooted,
Was a soldier through and through when he was done.
After Johnny got through basic training, he

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
For a bayonet and a new M-1.
His switchblade and his old zip gun
He's real R.A. material, and he was glad to swap
When Pete was only in the seventh grade, he stabbed a cop.

It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier!
Policing up the filter tips,
With the hell of war he's come to grips,
He wants to fight and bleed and kill and die for liberty.
Now Al joined up to do his part defending you and me.

And the quaint and curious costumes that we're called upon to wear.
For the fascinating rules and regulations that we share,
For the nation's youth, the cream of which is marching at his side.
The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride,

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