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Last spring, I spent a week in a convent in the Midwest.
I'd been invited there to do a series of seminars on
language. They'd gotten my name from a list in Washington,
from a brochure that described my work as â?
?deals with the spiritual issues of our timeâ?
, undoubtedly a blurb I had written myself.
Because of this, and also because men were not allowed
to enter the convert, they asked me to come out.
The night I arrived, they had a party for me in a nearby
town, in a downstairs lounge of a crystal lane's bowling alley.
The alley was reserved for the nuns,
for their Tuesday night tournaments; it was a pizza
party. And the lounge was decorated to look like a
cave: every surface was covered with that spray-on
rock that's usually used for soundproofing.
In this case, it had the opposite effect: it amplified every sound.
Now the nuns were in the middle of their annual tournament
playoffs. And we could hear all the bowling balls rolling
very slowly down the aisles above us,
making the rock club stalactites tremble and resonate.
Finally the pizza arrived,
and the mother superior began to bless the food.
Now this woman normally had a gruffed low-pitched speaking
voice but as soon as she began to pray he voice rose,
became pure, bell-like, like a child's.
The prayer went on and on increasing in volume each
time a sister got a strike, rising in pitch â??Dear Father in Heavenâ?.
The next day I was scheduled to begin this seminar
on language. I'd been very struck by this prayer and
I wanted to talk about how women's voices rise in pitch
when they're asking for things,
especially from men. But it was odd.
Every time I set a time for the seminar,
there was some reason to postpone it: the potatoes
had to be dug out, or a busload of old people would
appear out of nowhere and have to be shown around.
So I never actually did the seminar.
But I spent a lot of time there,
walking around the grounds and looking at all the crops,
which were all labeled. And there was also a neatly
laid-out cemetery, hundreds of identical white crosses
in rows, and there were labeled â?
?Mariaâ?, â??Teresaâ?, â?
?Maria Teresaâ?, â??Teresa Mariaâ?
, and the only sadder cemetery I saw was last summer
in Switzerland. And I was dragged there by a Hermann
Hesse fanatic, who had never recovered from reading
###130414, and one hot August morning when the sky
was quiet, we made a pilgrimage to the cemetery; we
brought a lot of flowers and we finally found his grave.
It was marked with a huge fur tree and a mammoth stone
that said â??Hesseâ? in huge Helvetica bold letters.
It looked more like a marquee than a tombstone.
And around the corner was this tiny stone for his wife,
Nina, and on it was one word: â?
?Auslanderâ? â?? foreigner.
And this made me so sad and so mad that I was sorry
I'd brought the flowers. Anyway,
I de! cided to leave the flowers, along with a mean note, and it read:
Even though you're not my favorite writer,
by long shots, I leave these flowers on your resting spot.
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by long shots, I leave these flowers on your resting spot.
Even though you're not my favorite writer,
I de! cided to leave the flowers, along with a mean note, and it read:
I'd brought the flowers. Anyway,
And this made me so sad and so mad that I was sorry
?Auslanderâ? â?? foreigner.
Nina, and on it was one word: â?
And around the corner was this tiny stone for his wife,
It looked more like a marquee than a tombstone.
that said â??Hesseâ? in huge Helvetica bold letters.
It was marked with a huge fur tree and a mammoth stone
brought a lot of flowers and we finally found his grave.
was quiet, we made a pilgrimage to the cemetery; we
###130414, and one hot August morning when the sky
Hesse fanatic, who had never recovered from reading
in Switzerland. And I was dragged there by a Hermann
, and the only sadder cemetery I saw was last summer
?Maria Teresaâ?, â??Teresa Mariaâ?
?Mariaâ?, â??Teresaâ?, â?
in rows, and there were labeled â?
laid-out cemetery, hundreds of identical white crosses
which were all labeled. And there was also a neatly
walking around the grounds and looking at all the crops,
But I spent a lot of time there,
So I never actually did the seminar.
appear out of nowhere and have to be shown around.
had to be dug out, or a busload of old people would
there was some reason to postpone it: the potatoes
Every time I set a time for the seminar,
especially from men. But it was odd.
when they're asking for things,
I wanted to talk about how women's voices rise in pitch
on language. I'd been very struck by this prayer and
The next day I was scheduled to begin this seminar
time a sister got a strike, rising in pitch â??Dear Father in Heavenâ?.
The prayer went on and on increasing in volume each
became pure, bell-like, like a child's.
voice but as soon as she began to pray he voice rose,
Now this woman normally had a gruffed low-pitched speaking
and the mother superior began to bless the food.
Finally the pizza arrived,
making the rock club stalactites tremble and resonate.
very slowly down the aisles above us,
playoffs. And we could hear all the bowling balls rolling
Now the nuns were in the middle of their annual tournament
In this case, it had the opposite effect: it amplified every sound.
rock that's usually used for soundproofing.
cave: every surface was covered with that spray-on
party. And the lounge was decorated to look like a
for their Tuesday night tournaments; it was a pizza
The alley was reserved for the nuns,
town, in a downstairs lounge of a crystal lane's bowling alley.
The night I arrived, they had a party for me in a nearby
to enter the convert, they asked me to come out.
Because of this, and also because men were not allowed
, undoubtedly a blurb I had written myself.
?deals with the spiritual issues of our timeâ?
from a brochure that described my work as â?
language. They'd gotten my name from a list in Washington,
I'd been invited there to do a series of seminars on
Last spring, I spent a week in a convent in the Midwest.
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