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As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a woolen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing inside her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing inside your thing where my old thing should be??
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's nothing but a hammer that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
But a hammer with a head like that I never saw before
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But a hammer with a head like that I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
That's nothing but a hammer that me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns that thing inside your thing where my old thing should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw a thing inside her thing where my old thing should be
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
That's a woolen blanket that me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be??
Well, I called me wife and I said to her, ?Will you kindly tell to me
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
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