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Amish Paradise
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' cows
Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long
That even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight were gonna party like it's 1699
We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount drives ****
Living' in an Amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell
But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know thats unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
Theres no phones, no lights, no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson and Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be
We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Hichin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raise a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an udder
Think your really righteous, think your pure at heart?
Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy, the little omlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the after life
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spendin' most our lives
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Menonites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
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Livin' in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Menonites
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We been spendin' most our lives
Or else my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
On my knees day and night, scorin' points for the after life
I'm the pious guy, the little omlettes wanna be like
Well I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art
Think your really righteous, think your pure at heart?
Raise a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise an udder
Hichin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We don't fight we all play nice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We been spendin' most our lives
Like Robinson and Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be
Not a single luxury
Theres no phones, no lights, no motor cars
We're just technologically impaired
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
An Amish with a 'tude? You know thats unheard of
But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in Hell
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
Living' in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount drives ****
Livin' in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
I churned butter once or twice
Livin' in an Amish paradise
We been spendin' most our lives
Then tonight were gonna party like it's 1699
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
That even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long
Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' cows
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
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| AAmish PParadise |
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