Johnny Paycheck
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(Phil Thomas)

Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas
Was drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
An' we was, what's that you say
What's Colorado Kool-Aid?

Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream
It'll set you head on fire an' make your kidneys scream
Oh, it sure is fine
Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times.

But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in
Some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friend
Sure enough, he wants to fight
Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight.

Well, he took him a big swallow of beer
And he spit in my Mexican friends ear
And, sure enough, that made my buddie real mad
That's somethin' like he ain't never had.

Well, sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife
Quick as a whistle he began to slice
An, that big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears
Lookin' down at the floor, an' one of his ears.

Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns
You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn
But he was a gentleman about it, an' bent over and with a half way grin
Picked it up and handed it back to him.

He said: "Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer
"Just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear
"Won't be no trouble that way."
That's what I heard him say.

And I said: "Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid
"An while you're up their, bring this big fella, here, a box of Band aids."

Now let me tell you: if you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas
Decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Kool-Aid
An' maybe talk to some Mexicans
An' you get the urge to get a little tough
Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muff.

Hey, ain't that right big man? I said ain't that right big man?
Ah, hell he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear.
Hey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid
How about it?

How you doin', big man? Still got your ear there in your hand?...


Mirror lyrics:

How you doin', big man? Still got your ear there in your hand?...

How about it?
Hey barmaid, bring us all a big, tall glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid
Ah, hell he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear.
Hey, ain't that right big man? I said ain't that right big man?

Better make damn sure you got your knife proof ear-muff.
An' you get the urge to get a little tough
An' maybe talk to some Mexicans
Decide to stop an' drink some Colorado Kool-Aid
Now let me tell you: if you're ever ridin' down in south of Texas

"An while you're up their, bring this big fella, here, a box of Band aids."
And I said: "Barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid

That's what I heard him say.
"Won't be no trouble that way."
"Just open up your hand there, and spit it in your own ear
He said: "Now big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer

Picked it up and handed it back to him.
But he was a gentleman about it, an' bent over and with a half way grin
You might say the little Mexican fella, he just didn't give a durn
Ha, he cut that thing off, even with the sideburns

Lookin' down at the floor, an' one of his ears.
An, that big mean drunk stood back, his face full of tears
Quick as a whistle he began to slice
Well, sir, he pulled out a big, long switch blade knife

That's somethin' like he ain't never had.
And, sure enough, that made my buddie real mad
And he spit in my Mexican friends ear
Well, he took him a big swallow of beer

Yeah, he's gonna whip everything in sight.
Sure enough, he wants to fight
Some big, mean drunk who just ain't got no friend
But you know every beer joint that you've ever been in

Yeah, we was havin' ourselves one of them real good times.
Oh, it sure is fine
It'll set you head on fire an' make your kidneys scream
Well, it's a can of Coors brewed from a mountain stream

What's Colorado Kool-Aid?
An' we was, what's that you say
Was drinkin' Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans
Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas

(Phil Thomas)


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