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If You Ever
If you ever go to school
Then you'll know that it's a fool
Who believes a teachers pet
Is a pupil like yourself
For if I remember well
My old teachers was a belt
Which he kept around his shoulder blade
There for the mistakes we made
Have you ever been to sea
And been told reluctantly
That if you have one more drink
We're all liable to sink
If you have all I can say
Is have a happy holiday
And don't come back without a tan
Especially from a far off land
Funny old world this
Or haven't you noticed
Everything's glued on
Nothing is screwed on
One day we will come unstuck
But until then we're in luck
If you ever feel the need
To go out and plant a seed
Then by all means go ahead
I won't stop you but instead
I will tell you where to go
And the seeds that you can grow
And by way of payment back I think
You could buy us all a drink
Funny old world this
Or haven't you noticed
Nothing is certain
Gone for a burton
Something must be done they say
But for the moment it can wait.
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But for the moment it can wait.
Something must be done they say
Gone for a burton
Nothing is certain
Or haven't you noticed
Funny old world this
You could buy us all a drink
And by way of payment back I think
And the seeds that you can grow
I will tell you where to go
I won't stop you but instead
Then by all means go ahead
To go out and plant a seed
If you ever feel the need
But until then we're in luck
One day we will come unstuck
Nothing is screwed on
Everything's glued on
Or haven't you noticed
Funny old world this
Especially from a far off land
And don't come back without a tan
Is have a happy holiday
If you have all I can say
We're all liable to sink
That if you have one more drink
And been told reluctantly
Have you ever been to sea
There for the mistakes we made
Which he kept around his shoulder blade
My old teachers was a belt
For if I remember well
Is a pupil like yourself
Who believes a teachers pet
Then you'll know that it's a fool
If you ever go to school
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