Chess
The Merchandisers

The Soloists:
Whether you are pro or anti,
Or could not care less,
We are here to tell you
We are here to sell you chess.
Not a chance of you escaping
From our wiles,
We've locked the doors,
We've blocked the aisles,
We've a franchise worth exploiting
And we will, yes we will!
When it comes to merchandising
We could kill.

Female Soloists:
When you get up--

Male Soloists:
When you get up in the morning--

Soloists:
Till your bedtime book,
You will have to live your life
With bishop, knight, and rook.

Male Soloists:
Clean your teeth with
Checkered toothpaste,
Wear our vests.

Female Soloists:
Our kings, and queens
On bouncing breasts.

Soloists:
You could even buy a set,
And learn to play.
We don't mind,
We'll sell you something
Anyway.

We've done all
Our market research,
And our finding show
That this game of chess
Will be around a month or so.
Maybe it's a bit confusing
For a game,
But Rubik's cubes
Were much the same.

In the end
The whole world bought one--
All were gone,
By which time
We merchandisers
Had moved on!

By which time
We merchandisers
Had moved on!


Mirror lyrics:

Had moved on!
We merchandisers
By which time

Had moved on!
We merchandisers
By which time
All were gone,
The whole world bought one--
In the end

Were much the same.
But Rubik's cubes
For a game,
Maybe it's a bit confusing
Will be around a month or so.
That this game of chess
And our finding show
Our market research,
We've done all

Anyway.
We'll sell you something
We don't mind,
And learn to play.
You could even buy a set,
Soloists:

On bouncing breasts.
Our kings, and queens
Female Soloists:

Wear our vests.
Checkered toothpaste,
Clean your teeth with
Male Soloists:

With bishop, knight, and rook.
You will have to live your life
Till your bedtime book,
Soloists:

When you get up in the morning--
Male Soloists:

When you get up--
Female Soloists:

We could kill.
When it comes to merchandising
And we will, yes we will!
We've a franchise worth exploiting
We've blocked the aisles,
We've locked the doors,
From our wiles,
Not a chance of you escaping
We are here to sell you chess.
We are here to tell you
Or could not care less,
Whether you are pro or anti,
The Soloists:


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