Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisp...
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Donna:
When the pubs are shut
And the taxi queue is long
When your brain is mashed
And your legs are working wrong

Louise:
When you haven't pulled

Johnny and Janet:
Or even if you have

Gaz:
When you've been to Abdul's and he spat on your kebab

All:
Stop thinking, start drinking
Don't worry what your parents said
Fill your mind with beer instead

Stop thinking, start drinking
Don't worry what your doctors say
Your liver's ruined anyway

Janet:
When you've all been out
And you've met the one you love

Donna:
Aww

Johnny:
But your bottle's gone
And you might not get it up

Donna:
If you're insecure
That you might not be enough

Janet:
Get some Alcopops
And show the world your Muff!

All:
Stop thinking, start drinking
Don't worry about Health Warnings
Think about it in the morning

Stop thinking, start drinking
If you think your head's in trouble
Have some more; you'll see it double

Gaz:
Stop thinking and start drinking!

All:
Stop thinking, start drinking

Gaz:
Stop your thinking
Please, start drinking
Stop your thinking and start drinking!

All:
Stop thinking, start drinking
If you're scared you've had too much
You need some courage form the Dutch

Stop thinking, start drinking
Yeah, yeah yeah!

[Louise:
Cheese!]


Mirror lyrics:

Cheese!]
[Louise:

Yeah, yeah yeah!
Stop thinking, start drinking

You need some courage form the Dutch
If you're scared you've had too much
Stop thinking, start drinking
All:

Stop your thinking and start drinking!
Please, start drinking
Stop your thinking
Gaz:

Stop thinking, start drinking
All:

Stop thinking and start drinking!
Gaz:

Have some more; you'll see it double
If you think your head's in trouble
Stop thinking, start drinking

Think about it in the morning
Don't worry about Health Warnings
Stop thinking, start drinking
All:

And show the world your Muff!
Get some Alcopops
Janet:

That you might not be enough
If you're insecure
Donna:

And you might not get it up
But your bottle's gone
Johnny:

Aww
Donna:

And you've met the one you love
When you've all been out
Janet:

Your liver's ruined anyway
Don't worry what your doctors say
Stop thinking, start drinking

Fill your mind with beer instead
Don't worry what your parents said
Stop thinking, start drinking
All:

When you've been to Abdul's and he spat on your kebab
Gaz:

Or even if you have
Johnny and Janet:

When you haven't pulled
Louise:

And your legs are working wrong
When your brain is mashed
And the taxi queue is long
When the pubs are shut
Donna:


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