Chaz N' Dave
The Sideboard Song

Mother phoned up last night she was going spare
She was in a temper pulling out her hair
"Your sisters brought in this scruffy looking head
Father dont give a monkeys this is what he said"

(Chorus)
I dont care I dont care I dont care if he comes round here
I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out
if he comes round here

I said to me mother let me have a talk to dad
so he comes to the telephone he wasnt half mad
says "shes got no sense the silly little cow
and if he comes round here theres gonna be a row"

Repeat chorus

"I'll tell you something else an' all he's never got a job
he hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob"
mother says "calm down dad hes alright
there out there snogging in the passage all night"

Repeat chorus

Biggy was a tramp with stubble on his chin
he looks like something that the cats brought in
never got no money smokes all my fags
got holes in his soles and his hanging in rags

On top of that he says i tell you why i got the hump
she had a skinny little belly now its sticking out the front
theres nothing seems to fit her shes a running out of clothes
if he thinks he takes a liberties i'll punch him on the nose

Chorus

piano solo

twin vocal chorus

chorus repeat to fade


Mirror lyrics:

chorus repeat to fade

twin vocal chorus

piano solo

Chorus

if he thinks he takes a liberties i'll punch him on the nose
theres nothing seems to fit her shes a running out of clothes
she had a skinny little belly now its sticking out the front
On top of that he says i tell you why i got the hump

got holes in his soles and his hanging in rags
never got no money smokes all my fags
he looks like something that the cats brought in
Biggy was a tramp with stubble on his chin

Repeat chorus

there out there snogging in the passage all night"
mother says "calm down dad hes alright
he hangs around the betting shop the lazy little yob"
"I'll tell you something else an' all he's never got a job

Repeat chorus

and if he comes round here theres gonna be a row"
says "shes got no sense the silly little cow
so he comes to the telephone he wasnt half mad
I said to me mother let me have a talk to dad

if he comes round here
I got my beer and a sideboard here let mother sort it out
I dont care I dont care I dont care if he comes round here
(Chorus)

Father dont give a monkeys this is what he said"
"Your sisters brought in this scruffy looking head
She was in a temper pulling out her hair
Mother phoned up last night she was going spare


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