Bob Rivers
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The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!
I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?
Five months of bills!
Oh, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
"Batteries Not Included"
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Oh, facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Stale TV specials
"Batteries Not Included"
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She's a witch...I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
"Batteries Not Included"
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make 'em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree


Mirror lyrics:

And finding a Christmas tree
FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
Shut up, you!
I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!
Five months of bills!
Gotta make 'em dinner!
Charities!
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
No parking?!?
"Batteries Not Included"
Stale TV specials
Singing Christmas carols
The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

And finding a Christmas tree
Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!
Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?
Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
Five months of bills!
She's a witch...I hate her!
Charities!
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
No parking spaces
"Batteries Not Included"
Stale TV specials
The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:

And finding a Christmas tree
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
Oh, geez, look at this!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Five months of bills!
Oh, facing my in-laws!
Get a job, ya bum!
BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!
No parking spaces
"Batteries Not Included"
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

And finding a Christmas tree
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
Hangovers!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Five months of bills!
Facing my in-laws
Donations!
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Finding parking spaces
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

And finding a Christmas tree
What, we have no extension cords?!?
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
Oh, making out these cards
Five months of bills!
And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?
Charities,
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:

And finding a Christmas tree
I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!
Oh, geez!
Sending Christmas cards
Five months of bills!
Facing my in-laws
The Salvation Army
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

And finding a Christmas tree
Rigging up these lights!
Hangovers
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Five months of bills!
Facing my in-laws
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

And finding a Christmas tree
Rigging up the lights
Hangovers
Sending Christmas cards
Five months of bills!
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

And finding a Christmas tree
Rigging up the lights
Hangovers
Sending Christmas cards
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

And finding a Christmas tree
Rigging up the lights
Hangovers
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

And finding a Christmas tree
Rigging up the lights
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:

Is finding a Christmas tree
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me


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