Bing Crosby - The Waiter And The Porter And The Upstairs Maid (w...

Bing Crosby

The Waiter And The Porter And The Upstairs Maid (w...

(BC)
As your genial host may I offer a toast
To the wine buying guest on my right
(Hooray for the wine buyer)
(Spoken)
Yes drag out the cooking sherry for the old colonel
(Sung)
May his bank account grow heavy laden with dough
May he spend it in here every night
(Every night)
Seeing this night in its glory
You people so loyal, so true
Puts me in mind of a story

(MM)
Tell us about it, pray do-o-o-o-o-o.

(BC)
The people in the ballroom were stuffy and arty
So I began to get just a little bit frayed
I sneaked into the kitchen, I dug me a party
The waiter

(JT)
And the porter

(MM)
And the second storey maid.

(BC)
I peeked into the parlour to see what was a-hatchin'
In time to hear the hostess suggest a charade

(MM)
But who was in the pantry a-laughin' an' scratchin'

(BC)
Oh.The waiter

(JT)
And the porter

(MM)
And the upstairs maid

(JT)
When they heard the music that the orchestra played

(MM)
The waiter and the porter grabbed a-hold of the maid

(BC)
Then they all proceeded to go into a clog

(All)
Hot diggedy dog.

(BC)
If ever I'm invited to some fuddy-duddy's
I ain't-a-gonna watch any harlequinade

(JT)
You'll find him in the kitchen applaudin' his buddies

(BC)
The waiter

(JT)
And the porter

(MM)
And the upstairs maid

(BC)
Well pardon me folks the roast is carved
The wine is served, why you look half starved

(JT)
Pardon me sir, may we be free

(JT & MM)
The kitchen guard is havin' a jamboree

(Orchestral break)

(MM)
I went and got a dish pan to use as a cymbal

(BC)
The porter found the regular glass that he played

(JT)
The fingers of the waiter were each in a thimble

(ALL)
You should-a heard the music that the combination made

(MM)
I went and got a dishpan to use a cymbal

(BC)
the porter found the regular glass that he played

(JT)
the fingers of the waiter were each in a thimble,

(MM & JT)
you should of heard the music that the combination made

(BC & MM)
Marchin' through the kitchen to the pantry and back
Why, man, you should-a seen us, we were ballin' the jack
Once a half an hour passed without any call

(JT)
Jack we had a ball

(MM)
The waltzes and mazurkas we hate ‘em, we spurn ‘em

(JT)
We got a lot of rhythms we wanna hear played

(BC)
Yes and we know who to go to when we want to learn ‘em

(All)
The waiter and the porter and the upstairs maid

Mirror lyrics:

The waiter and the porter and the upstairs maid
(All)

Yes and we know who to go to when we want to learn ‘em
(BC)

We got a lot of rhythms we wanna hear played
(JT)

The waltzes and mazurkas we hate ‘em, we spurn ‘em
(MM)

Jack we had a ball
(JT)

Once a half an hour passed without any call
Why, man, you should-a seen us, we were ballin' the jack
Marchin' through the kitchen to the pantry and back
(BC & MM)

you should of heard the music that the combination made
(MM & JT)

the fingers of the waiter were each in a thimble,
(JT)

the porter found the regular glass that he played
(BC)

I went and got a dishpan to use a cymbal
(MM)

You should-a heard the music that the combination made
(ALL)

The fingers of the waiter were each in a thimble
(JT)

The porter found the regular glass that he played
(BC)

I went and got a dish pan to use as a cymbal
(MM)

(Orchestral break)

The kitchen guard is havin' a jamboree
(JT & MM)

Pardon me sir, may we be free
(JT)

The wine is served, why you look half starved
Well pardon me folks the roast is carved
(BC)

And the upstairs maid
(MM)

And the porter
(JT)

The waiter
(BC)

You'll find him in the kitchen applaudin' his buddies
(JT)

I ain't-a-gonna watch any harlequinade
If ever I'm invited to some fuddy-duddy's
(BC)

Hot diggedy dog.
(All)

Then they all proceeded to go into a clog
(BC)

The waiter and the porter grabbed a-hold of the maid
(MM)

When they heard the music that the orchestra played
(JT)

And the upstairs maid
(MM)

And the porter
(JT)

Oh.The waiter
(BC)

But who was in the pantry a-laughin' an' scratchin'
(MM)

In time to hear the hostess suggest a charade
I peeked into the parlour to see what was a-hatchin'
(BC)

And the second storey maid.
(MM)

And the porter
(JT)

The waiter
I sneaked into the kitchen, I dug me a party
So I began to get just a little bit frayed
The people in the ballroom were stuffy and arty
(BC)

Tell us about it, pray do-o-o-o-o-o.
(MM)

Puts me in mind of a story
You people so loyal, so true
Seeing this night in its glory
(Every night)
May he spend it in here every night
May his bank account grow heavy laden with dough
(Sung)
Yes drag out the cooking sherry for the old colonel
(Spoken)
(Hooray for the wine buyer)
To the wine buying guest on my right
As your genial host may I offer a toast
(BC)

Relevant Tags:

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fThe aWaiter zAnd fThe 0Porter zAnd fThe hUpstairs jMaid (...		Tfhe Waaiter Aznd Tfhe P0orter Aznd Tfhe Uhpstairs Mjaid (.w..
5he 3aiter qnd 5he lorter qnd 5he 7pstairs kaid (a...		5The 3Waiter qAnd 5The lPorter qAnd 5The 7Upstairs kMaid (aw...
T5he W3aiter Aqnd T5he Plorter Aqnd T5he U7pstairs Mkaid (wa...		hhe daiter snd hhe oorter snd hhe kpstairs naid (3...
hThe dWaiter sAnd hThe oPorter sAnd hThe kUpstairs nMaid (3w...		Thhe Wdaiter Asnd Thhe Poorter Asnd Thhe Ukpstairs Mnaid (w3...
yhe eaiter wnd yhe wnd yhe ipstairs Maaid (d...		yThe eWaiter wAnd yThe Prter wAnd yThe iUpstairs Mid (dw...
Tyhe Weaiter Awnd Tyhe Proter Awnd Tyhe Uipstairs Miad (wd...		6he saiter xnd 6he Pkrter xnd 6he 8pstairs Mzid (e...
6The sWaiter xAnd 6The Pkorter xAnd 6The 8Upstairs Mzaid (ew...		T6he Wsaiter Axnd T6he Pokrter Axnd T6he U8pstairs Mazid (we...
ghe 2aiter Annd ghe P9rter Annd ghe jpstairs Mqid (s...		gThe 2Waiter Ad gThe P9orter Ad gThe jUpstairs Mqaid (sw...
Tghe W2aiter Adn Tghe Po9rter Adn Tghe Ujpstairs Maqid (ws...		rhe qaiter Amd rhe P0rter Amd rhe ypstairs Msid (2...
rThe qWaiter Amnd rThe Amnd rThe yUpstairs Msaid (2w...		Trhe Wqaiter Anmd Trhe Po0rter Anmd Trhe Uypstairs Masid (w2...
Ahd Plrter Ahd Uppstairs Mwid (q...		Te Witer Ahnd Te Ahnd Te Ustairs Mwaid (qw...
Teh Wiater Anhd Teh Polrter Anhd Teh Usptairs Mawid (wq...		Tje Wziter Ajd Tje Pirter Ajd Tje U0stairs Mxid (w....
Tjhe Wzaiter Ajnd Tjhe Piorter Ajnd Tjhe U0pstairs Mxaid (w..		Thje Waziter Anjd Thje Poirter Anjd Thje Up0stairs Maxid (w...
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Thue Waqiter Anbd Thue Potrer Anbd Thue Uplstairs Madi		Tne Wsiter Andd Tne Podter Andd Tne Uostairs Majd
Tnhe An Tnhe Podrter An Tnhe Uopstairs Majid		Thne Wasiter And Thne Pordter And Thne Upostairs Maijd
Tbe Wwiter Anx Tbe Po4ter Anx Tbe Upsstairs Ma9d		Tbhe Wwaiter Anxd Tbhe Po4rter Anxd Tbhe Uptairs Ma9id
Thbe Wawiter Andx Thbe Por4ter Andx Thbe Uptsairs Mai9d		Tge Wxiter Ane Tge Pogter Ane Tge Upztairs Mald
Wxaiter Aned Pogrter Aned Upzstairs Malid		Thge Waxiter Ande Thge Porgter Ande Thge Upsztairs Maild
Tye Waiiter Anf Tye Potter Anf Tye Upwtairs Maod		Water Anfd Potrter Anfd Upwstairs Maoid
Thye Watier Andf Thye Portter Andf Thye Upswtairs Maiod		Thee Wajter Anr Thee Po5ter Anr Thee Updtairs Makd
Th Wajiter Anrd Th Po5rter Anrd Th Updstairs Makid		The Waijter Andr The Por5ter Andr The Upsdtairs Maikd
Ths Wa9ter Anc Ths Pofter Anc Ths Upetairs Ma8d		Thse Wa9iter Ancd Thse Pofrter Ancd Thse Upestairs Ma8id
Thes Wai9ter Andc Thes Porfter Andc Thes Upsetairs Mai8d		Th3 Walter Ans Th3 Poeter Ans Th3 Upxtairs Maud
Th3e Waliter Ansd Th3e Poerter Ansd Th3e Upxstairs Mauid		The3 Wailter Ands The3 Poreter Ands The3 Upsxtairs Maiud
Thf Waoter Thf Thf Upatairs Maidd		Thfe Waoiter Thfe Porer Thfe Upastairs Mai
Thef Waioter Thef Poretr Thef Upsatairs Maid		Thr Wakter Thr Porfer Thr Upsttairs Maix
Thre Wakiter Thre Thre Upsairs Maixd		Ther Waikter Ther Portfer Ther Upsatirs Maidx

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