Big Taylor
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I got a little gal with an appetite,
She's got me half-scared to go home at night;
I never seen a woman so hard to please.
She got me worn out got me weak in my knees,
I can't take my rest, she won't let me sleep,
And she's made me promise things I can't keep;
So I went downtown to the novelty shop;
Told the storekeeper want the best he's got;
He said he keeps the finest line of marital aids,
But they ain't cheap toys, have I means to pay.
I said I got a Visa and a Mastercard,
At least a thousand dollar trade-in if he'll take my car.
He took me to the back room and opened the safe,
And off the shelf pulled a red velvet case.
Said "This is only offered to select clientele,
Where you got it you must never tell;
It's a military secret here and abroad,
And everywhere else it's against the law".
"It's got a microprocessor and eight meg of ram,
A thousand selectable user programs,
And the operating system has biofeeds,
It always knows what your baby needs.
The thrills and excitement that she fantasize
Through virtual reality are realized".
"It can run automatic, or manual control,
Variate its temperature from hot to cold,
It caresses and manipulates, it tickles and stings
Her erogenous zones - it makes her little bells ring;
And medically proven, and clinically safe,
Its got safety overload features just in case".
"Its got a eight hundred number, user hotline,
Ain't no elevator music there to waste your time;
The replacement guarantee is the very best,
You get a new one shipped air freight express;
It simply is the finest model we've ever seen
The French women call it 'Le Machine'".
I got peace of mind, got contentment and bliss,
I never knew that love could be as easy as this.
I can stay up late now and watch TV,
Or turn in early as the mood suits me;
And my baby loves me for what I've done,
She says I'm "the only man allowed to power on!"


Mirror lyrics:

She says I'm "the only man allowed to power on!"
And my baby loves me for what I've done,
Or turn in early as the mood suits me;
I can stay up late now and watch TV,
I never knew that love could be as easy as this.
I got peace of mind, got contentment and bliss,
The French women call it 'Le Machine'".
It simply is the finest model we've ever seen
You get a new one shipped air freight express;
The replacement guarantee is the very best,
Ain't no elevator music there to waste your time;
"Its got a eight hundred number, user hotline,
Its got safety overload features just in case".
And medically proven, and clinically safe,
Her erogenous zones - it makes her little bells ring;
It caresses and manipulates, it tickles and stings
Variate its temperature from hot to cold,
"It can run automatic, or manual control,
Through virtual reality are realized".
The thrills and excitement that she fantasize
It always knows what your baby needs.
And the operating system has biofeeds,
A thousand selectable user programs,
"It's got a microprocessor and eight meg of ram,
And everywhere else it's against the law".
It's a military secret here and abroad,
Where you got it you must never tell;
Said "This is only offered to select clientele,
And off the shelf pulled a red velvet case.
He took me to the back room and opened the safe,
At least a thousand dollar trade-in if he'll take my car.
I said I got a Visa and a Mastercard,
But they ain't cheap toys, have I means to pay.
He said he keeps the finest line of marital aids,
Told the storekeeper want the best he's got;
So I went downtown to the novelty shop;
And she's made me promise things I can't keep;
I can't take my rest, she won't let me sleep,
She got me worn out got me weak in my knees,
I never seen a woman so hard to please.
She's got me half-scared to go home at night;
I got a little gal with an appetite,


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