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The Lonesome Kicker
Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
Extra points, field goals at your service
One might think it comes with glory
You might think different after you listen to my story
My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
What it possibly could protect, I do not know
The other guys on the team
Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
And also like to hide the special shoe
I need to kick in the snow
People think it's so easy
To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
They forget to add seven yards for the snap
And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back
In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
But some of the players were running into them
And getting hurt
So screw the kicker
Who cares about the kicker?
But I kick that ball
And I pray it goes straight
If it does
The coach says "Good job, number 8"
He doesn't even know my name is
Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker
Kickoffs can be so very scary
Especially, if the returner breaks on through
And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
I don't want to get hurt
So I pretend to tie my shoe
Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
"Go back where you came from!"
Scream 70,000 fans
Well, I know I could win their love back
By catching a winning touch-down
But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands
And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
The Lonesome Kicker
Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it was the Left Guard
Who didn't pick up his man
Oh, why can't they see...
In my home country
I could have been a minor league soccer player
But I came to America
Seeking fortune and seeking fame
I didn't realize that if I shanked one
and blew the point spread
Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
After the game
So I go home at night
'Cause I never get invited
To go drinking with the other guys
And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
As I eat a plate of cold french fries
And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
And my son can't look me in the eyes
But that's the life I live
The Lonesome Kicker
Kicking for you
They took my snow shoe
They're going for two
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They're going for two
They took my snow shoe
Kicking for you
The Lonesome Kicker
But that's the life I live
And my son can't look me in the eyes
And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend
As I eat a plate of cold french fries
And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot
To go drinking with the other guys
'Cause I never get invited
So I go home at night
After the game
Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi
and blew the point spread
I didn't realize that if I shanked one
Seeking fortune and seeking fame
But I came to America
I could have been a minor league soccer player
In my home country
Oh, why can't they see...
Who didn't pick up his man
But it was the Left Guard
And everybody blames me
Another blocked kick
The Lonesome Kicker
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
But, unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands
By catching a winning touch-down
Well, I know I could win their love back
Scream 70,000 fans
"Go back where you came from!"
Once again, I'm ignored by my teammates and all my coaches
So I pretend to tie my shoe
I don't want to get hurt
And I'm the only guy on the playing field left to tackle him
Especially, if the returner breaks on through
Kickoffs can be so very scary
The Lonesome Kicker
But that's the life I live
Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr.
He doesn't even know my name is
The coach says "Good job, number 8"
If it does
And I pray it goes straight
But I kick that ball
Who cares about the kicker?
So screw the kicker
And getting hurt
But some of the players were running into them
In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line
And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back
They forget to add seven yards for the snap
To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line
People think it's so easy
I need to kick in the snow
And also like to hide the special shoe
Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads
The other guys on the team
What it possibly could protect, I do not know
My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask
You might think different after you listen to my story
One might think it comes with glory
Extra points, field goals at your service
Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
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TThe LLonesome KKicker |
| he onesome icker |
| hTe oLnesome iKcker |
| fhe konesome licker |
| fThe kLonesome lKicker |
| Tfhe Lkonesome Klicker |
|
5he oonesome oicker |
| 5The oLonesome oKicker |
| T5he Loonesome Koicker |
| hhe ponesome micker |
| hThe pLonesome mKicker |
| Thhe Lponesome Kmicker |
|
yhe jicker |
| yThe Lnesome jKicker |
| Tyhe Lnoesome Kjicker |
| 6he Lknesome iicker |
| 6The iKicker |
| T6he Loknesome Kiicker |
|
ghe L9nesome |
| gThe L9onesome Kcker |
| Tghe Lo9nesome Kciker |
| rhe L0nesome Kjcker |
| rThe L0onesome |
| Trhe Lo0nesome Kijcker |
|
Llnesome K9cker |
| Te Llonesome K9icker |
| Teh Lolnesome Ki9cker |
| Tje Linesome Klcker |
| Tjhe Lionesome |
| Thje Loinesome Kilcker |
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Tue Lonnesome Kocker |
| Tuhe Loesome |
| Thue Loensome Kiocker |
| Tne Lomesome Kkcker |
| Tnhe Lomnesome Kkicker |
| Thne Lonmesome Kikcker |
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Tbe Lohesome K8cker |
| Tbhe Lohnesome K8icker |
| Thbe Lonhesome Ki8cker |
| Tge Lojesome Kucker |
| Lojnesome Kuicker |
| Thge Lonjesome Kiucker |
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Tye Lobesome Kiccker |
| Lobnesome Kiker |
| Thye Lonbesome Kikcer |
| Thee Loneesome Kifker |
| Th Lonsome Kifcker |
| The Lonseome Kicfker |
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Ths Lonssome Kixker |
| Thse Lonsesome Kixcker |
| Thes Lonessome Kicxker |
| Th3 Lon3some Kivker |
| Th3e Lon3esome Kivcker |
| The3 Lone3some Kicvker |
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Thf Lonfsome Kidker |
| Thfe Lonfesome Kidcker |
| Thef Lonefsome Kicdker |
| Thr Lonrsome Kickker |
| Thre Lonresome Kicer |
| Ther Lonersome Kicekr |
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Th4 Lon4some Kicler |
| Th4e Lon4esome Kiclker |
| The4 Lone4some Kickler |
| Thd Londsome Kicoer |
| Thde Londesome Kicoker |
| Thed Lonedsome Kickoer |
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Thw Lonwsome Kicmer |
| Thwe Lonwesome Kicmker |
| Thew Lonewsome Kickmer |
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